The Simpsons

Homer: So what are <you> going to be, boy? Ba
Policeman. Home...
Marge: You know, your father wanted to be a policeman for a little while, but they said he was too heavy.
Homer: No, the Army said I was too heavy. The police said I was too dumb. ...
Lisa: Well, <I'm> going to be a famous jazz musician.
I've got it all figured out. I'll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French....
I'll be frank with you Lisa, and when I say frank, I mean, you know, devastating.
-- Instructor at music school, "Separate Vocatio...
Bart: Wow! Can I see your club? Cop: It's called a baton, son.
Bart: Oh. What's it for? Cop: We club people with it....
Bart: So, you guys like being cops? Cop: Oh, it's great.
You get to run red lights, park wherever you please, hot and cold running chicks....
Tonight, His Honor is, heh, polling the electorate.
-- Eddie explains Mayor Quimby's presence at a motel, "Separate Vocatio...
Bart: Do you need straight A's to be a cop? The Two Cop
[laugh uproariously] -- Just checking, "Separate Vocatio...
Ooh, they used nylon rope this time. It feels so smooth against my skin.
Almost sensuous... -- Apu, tied up after being robbed at gunpoint, "Separate Vocatio...
Wiggum: Looks like you just bought yourself a lottery ticket.
To jail! Eddie: He's unconscious, sir. Wiggum: Ah, they can still hear things....

562