The Simpsons

The Simpsons

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I saw some awful things in Nam, but you really have to wonder at the mentality that would desecrate a helpless puma!
-- Principal Skinner, "Separate Vocatio...
Skinner: Bart Simpson on the side of law and order?
Has the world gone topsy-turvey? Bart: That's right, man....
Look, let's can the euphemisms. No more bullspit. -- Principal Skinner, "Separate Vocatio
Marge: Bart's grades are up a little this term. But Lisa's are way down.
Homer: Oh... We always have one good kid and one lousy kid....
The school is a police state. Students are afraid to sneeze.
And I have you to thank....
Bart: Seymour, this is an absence slip signed by Nelson's mother.
And this is Nelson's English homework. Notice the identical elongated loops on the `d's....
Teacher: This is a great day for me. I thought I could never teach again!
Skinner: Oh, things have changed. There will be no mockery of your name, Mr....
Ms.H: Lisa, what nineteenth-century figure was named `Old Hickory'?
Lisa: I don't know. You? [snickers from the class] Ms....
Skinner: Um, ladies and gentlemen, the unthinkable has happened.
Some sick, twisted individual has stolen every teacher's edition in this school....
Ms. K: Children, I know this is highly irregular, but for the rest of the uh day, Martin will be teaching this class.
Martin: I will? But I wouldn't know where to begin. Ms. K: Just do i...

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