The Simpsons

Home › Fortune Cookies › The Simpsons

Maude: Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables? Todd
Hell, no! Ned+Maude+Rod: [gasp!] Maude: What did you say?...
Rev.L: [reluctantly, to phone] Hello, Ned. Ned: Sorry to bother you, Rev.
Lovejoy, but I'm kind of in a tizzy. My son Todd just told us he didn't want to eat his damn vegetables....
Bart: Hey, Lis. A moment of your time. Lisa: [stops playing her sax] Yeah?
Bart: Suppose I was writing my <second> letter to a girl, and I already used up my A-material....
Todd: [watches `Gomer Pyle' on television] Ned: Is this &l
all> he watches? Maude: Well, he used to watch `Davey and Goliath', but he thought the idea of a talking dog was blasphemous....
loppily scrawled] Maybe it's the beer talking Marge but you got a butt that won't quit.
they got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr five dollars?...
Dear Edna, Your photo took my breath away. Truly yours is a butt that won't quit.
Yesterday morning, I put your picture up in my garage to inspire me while I gapped my spark plugs....
Rod: At last we built the mission. Todd: Finally, the villagers have a place to pray.
Rod: [sings] Bringing in the sheaves! Todd: [sings] Bringing in the sheaves!...
Ned: Homer, I'm afriad I've got a bone to pick with you.
Homer: Look, if it's about the camcorder, I <lost> it, okay? -- "Bart the Love...
Ned: I'm talking about your, heh heh, potty-mouth.
Homer: What the hell are you talking about? -- "Bart the Love...
All of us pull a few `boners' now and then, go off `half-cocked', make `asses' of ourselves.
I don't want to be `hard on' you......

< previous

566

567
568
569
570
571
572
573
574
575
654
next >