Toggle navigation
Collections
Fun
Jokes
Fortune
Photo
Nicknames
Blog
ﻮﺑﻻگ
Iran
The Simpsons
Home
›
Fortune Cookies
›
The Simpsons
If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. -- Lionel Hutz, "Marge in Chai
Homer: Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex.
It's also the food preparation. -- "Marge in Chai...
It's so nice not to have to cook. -- Marge enjoys a meal in prison, "Marge in Chai
Now, kids, while your mother's gone, I don't want to have to wash any dishes, so from now on, drink straight from the faucet or milk carton, and we'll eat while standing over the sink or toilet.
...
Bart: Dad, we're running out of clean clothes! Lisa
It seems like I've been wearing this same red dress forever! -- "Marge in Chai...
Nelson: Hah-hah! Your mom's a jailbird! Bart: So's yours.
Nelson: Oh yeah. -- "Marge in Chai...
From now on, I'll use my gossip for good instead of evil. -- Helen Lovejoy, "Marge in Chai
Quimby: [to his bodyguards] Human roaches, feeding off each others' garbage!
The only thing you can't buy here is dignity. [taps the microphone] Welcome swappers!...
Bart: Oh boy! Free trading cards! Milhouse: Wow! Joseph of Arimathea!
Twenty six conversions in A.D. 46. Nelson: Whoa, a Methuselah rookie card!...
Lisa: Wow, an original Malibu Stacey from 1958! [Sees the huge, pointed breasts] Oh.
.. Man: Yeah, they took her off the market after some kid put both his eyes out....
< previous
...
648
649
650
651
652
653
654
655
next >