A rabbi is sitting on an airplane next to a Korean guy. After they have been
flying together in silence for a while, the rabbi leans over and says, "You
know, I've never forgiven you Chinese for what you did at Pearl Harbor."
The Korean looks shocked and replies, "What the hell are you talking
about?!?!? It was the Japanese the bombed Pearl Harbor, not the Chinese. And
besides, I'm not Chinese or Japanese, I'm Korean!"
The rabbi says, " Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what's the
difference?"
A little while later, the Korean man says, "You know, I've never
forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic." The rabbi looks confused and
mad and says, "What are you talking about? The Jews didn't have anything to
do with that! An iceberg sank the Titanic!"
The Korean guy replies, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, what's the
difference?"

There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all  working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the
cement."
Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired."
So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish
guy. Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the
Russian guy. Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is
the Korean guy??"
All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"

 

There was this Russian guy, this Spanish guy and this Korean guy all in the same ESL class. The teacher told them to make a sentence using the
word 'hostess' for homework.
So the next day the Russian guy goes "Oh I have a good sentence. The hostess was very courteous." And the teacher said "Wow that was really
good!"
The Spanish guy goes, "Oh I have a better sentence. My mother is a good hostess when others come over." Then the teacher said, "Wow that was
really good!" 
Finally the Korean guy goes, "I have the best sentence. When my mother 
answers the phone, she says hostess?"

Che Boram decides to take a trip to Texas to visit his favorite cousin one
day. As he sits down in the plane, he says, "Wow, the seats are really big
here." The person next to him turns to him and says, "In Texas, they
say everything is big."
When Boram finally arrives in Texas, he's a little tired, so he decides to go
visit a bar to loosen up. It turns out that he went into a country club instead.
He says, "Wow! The bars are very big here." Someone turns to him and
says, "Yes; in Texas, everything is big."
He orders a shot of alcohol at the bar, and when the bartender hands it to
him, he says, "Wow, the shotglass is really big!" A person next to him
turns to him and says, "Yes; in Texas, everything is big."
After drinking his alcohol and many more shots, Boram realizes that he has to
relieve himself. So he turns to the bartender and asks him where the bathroom
is. The bartender replies, "The second hallway, second door." Boram
thanks the bartender, and stumbles on his way. He's had a few drinks, so he
misses a turn, and then walks into the third door instead. It's a swimming pool,
and Boram trips and falls in.
As he's struggling to stay afloat, he cried out in panic: "Don't flush!
Don't flush!"

What's the capital of South Korea? 

About three dollars.



 

Two Korean fishermen are out fishing when their boat starts to sink. They get
into their dory and after a few days of drifting on

So there was this guy named Mung, right. He was a pretty miserable guy to start out with. Kids at school made fun of him, his mom made fun of him, even his dog wouldn't play with him. But there was some luck. 
One day, he met this girl who he thought was perfect for him. She was made fun of at school, too. because she had a lisp. But when he approached her, she spurned him. This upset him greatly. Even some girl who nobody liked didn't even like him. He was so upset that he decided to go jump off the local bridge. 
As he stood at the edge, thinking about his miserable life, the girl saw him standing there. In a last minute attempt to save a life, she shouted out, "Dun' go, Mung!" (Korean translation:
'Butthole.") 

It was the last straw for poor Mung who plunged into the rive

South Korea is gearing up for the World Cup by giving its toilets an urgent
makeover.
Officials are thinking big about the smallest room, lavishing expensive decor
on lavatories and designing 'themed' toilets in a bid to win the title of
"Finest Rest Room in Seoul".
Korea's "outhouse experience" has long been panned by visiting
Westerners. But the country has now launched the Rest Room movement and is
determined visitors will be bowled over by the standard of its lavatories during
World Cup 2002.
Art shows have even been thrown in lavs, and there is now a guided tour of
the city's top 50 conveniences.
One top toilet is said to have an "urbane image of high class",
with dressing tables, aromatic toilet paper and hair dryers. Another has an art
show, while a government-run loo is designed with a medieval theme and a
"castle motif" .
Plants, colored lighting, ultra-high ceilings, cigarette machines and heavy
steel ashtrays are becoming standard fittings in many conveniences.
Traditional Korean toilets are installed in the floor, requiring an awkward
squatting stance. They also proved too small for tall westerners.
The rest room movement was launched after criticism of its WCs during the
Seoul Olympics, reports the South
China Morning Post. Pyo Hae-ryung, president of the Citizens' Coalition for
Rest Room Culture, says: "The foreigners from the West feel very
uncomfortable about the bad state of bathrooms.
"Also the World Cup is coming to Korea and it would be embarrassing if
our rest rooms were of Third World quality. We are starting to make a major
impact on the public idea of a rest room."
Internet firms are also getting behind the movement. ClickCulture is offering
guided tours of the capital's most pristine toilets.

A Russian, a Saudi, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the
street. 
A pollster stops them and asks, "Excuse me, what is your opinion of the
meat shortage?" 
The Saudi replies, "Excuse me, what's a 'shortage'?" 
The Russian replies, "Excuse me, what's meat?" 
The North Korean replies, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?" 
Finally, the New Yorker replies, "What's 'Excuse me?'"

A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New
York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a
Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker.
He asked, "Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion on the current
meat shortage?"
The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?"
The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?"
The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?"
The New Yorker replied, "What is 'excuse me'?"

What is Korean Dracula's favorite morning beverage?

Koh-peee! (coffee)


What does the Korean bread say when it hit the wall?

Bhang!


Why is Korean toilet paper so big?

Because it's HUGE-ey!


What did the mommy Korean turkey say to her baby turkey?

Gobble ji mah!


What do you call the brown burnt rice at the bottom of the rice cooker?

bob ee brown! (Bobby Brown)


So there was this really really cute/pretty Korean girl  Tragically,
one day, she lost one of her ears in an accident.  As she was looking
out at the ocean on a bright morning along the beach, a man caught sight of
her and was awed by her stunning beauty.  He could not see that she had
only one ear, as her long hair ran luxuriously down the sides of her head. 
Boldly, he approached the young woman wanting to start some kind of
conversation, anything, just to talk to her, so he said, "ah,
kee uhb dah!



 

One day Will Smith and his Korean friend went to a Korean restaurant. 
The Korean guy ordered rice with kimchi chigae. Will Smith didn't know what
to get, so he said to come back later. The Korean guy went to the bathroom after
he ordered. 
Then the waiter came to Will Smith and asked him what he would like to order.
Will Smith said, "yea I want a bowl of rice." 
The waiter then asked, "what would you like with that?" and Will Smith
said, "yea...I want chigae with it" so when the friend got back he
asked what Will Smith got with his bowl of rice and Will Smith said "
gettin chigae with it"

You are immune to the smell of "the kimchi breath."
You no longer come to a complete stop at the stop sign and you never yield
the right-of-way.
You can pick up a single strand of noodles with chopsticks.
You ask for more "ko-chu" because the kimchi-chige soup is not
hot enough.
You enjoy slurping your noodles as loudly as you can.
Your back is sore from bowing.
You walk down the street holding hands with your buddy.
You ask your wife to stand outside with a baseball bat to protect your
public parking space in front of the house.
You can eat barefooted in a restaurant with a foot in your lap.
You can cut in at the front of the line of waiting people with the best of
them.
You look forward to winter in your off post housing so you can store beer
and frozen foods in your bedroom or bathroom.
You can fall asleep on the city bus and wake up at your stop.
You can shovel in an entire bowl of rice and half a course of Bulkogi into
your mouth before you swallow.
You rather watch local TV than AFKN.
You can make a left turn looking only to the right.
You can convert any US unit measurements into metric measurements in your
head.
You look forward to Chusok and the Lunar New Year each year.
You think that Korea's greatest natural resource is good looking young
women.
You only lock your door if there are lots of "Mi-gooks" around.
People ask if you want to go by car and you respond, "No, I'm in a
hurry."
Someone says, "Bed," and you think "Yol."
You realize that it is safer to "J" walk than use a pedestrian
crosswalk.
You wear white socks with a dark suit.
You can use a public bathroom for both genders and think nothing of it.
You know every interchange on the Seoul-Pusan Expressway by heart.
You know all the words to the Korean National Anthem and you enjoy singing
it.
You don't need a restroom to relieve yourself.
You crawl back into your house to get your coat, rather than take your
shoes back off and walk on the floor with shoes on.
You bow at inanimate objects.
You walk around humming the tune the crosswalk signal lights play.
You enjoy shopping at a local open market place more than Main PX or
Commissary.
Someone says breakfast, you think of "fish, soup and seaweed."
You'd rather sit on the floor than in a chair.
You start believing that you can blend into a large crowd of Koreans.
All your shoes are bent flat in the back.
You let your eyes be drawn towards any female whose hair isn't black.
You answer the phone by saying "yoboseyo," and sometimes even at
the office.
Someone says "mansion" and you think of a two bedroom flat in a
400-unit apartment building.
You mutter "Aigu" when lifting a heavy objects.
You suck in air through your teeth before saying "no" to
anything.
You start growling and spitting inside your mouth to add emphasis to what
you are about to say.
You can convert Hangul into English without repeating it to yourself
first.
You always wave your left hand to signal you are going to cut in front of
another driver without looking first.
You select shoes based on how easily you can get them on and off.
You answer "Nhe" even when speaking English to non-Korean
friends.
You carry chopsticks in your back pocket.
You enjoy putting lots of red pepper sauce on your salads or French-fries.
You don't freak out when the salad arrives with octopus legs still
wiggling on top of it.
You are not embarrassed when old ladies are standing in a bus while you
are sitting down.
You like OB or Crown better than Bud or Miller.

 

You own two refrigerators, and one is just used for storing Kimchee.
She gets upset if you refer to the above as the Kimchee Box.
She gets upset if you put anything other than Kimchee in the Kimchee Box.
She lacks common sense, or for the politically correct: Faulty Logic.
You have more than one type of Kimchee.
She assures you that the meat bought in the open market is better, even if
it still has the AAFES tag on it.
Believes that any product bought in the open market is better, even if it
still has the AAFES tag on it.
She has 101 uses for Soju.
She uses Soju as a cleaning product.
She uses Soju for medical purposes. (Disinfectant.)
She will go to an American restaurant to eat Korean Food and insists that
it tastes better than served in a Korean restaurant.
She believes wearing platform shoes is sexy.
She wears a mini skirt in the winter, then complains that it is cold.
The main ingredient in the food you eat at home is garlic.
She eats non-Korean food with Kimchee.
She won't eat spoiled food, but does not have a problem with Kimchee.
You own a dining room table that is less than 1 foot high.
You own more chopsticks than you do forks and spoons.
She doesn't drink tap water until after it's been boiled, but she'll make
ice with it.
She thinks fish head soup is a delicacy.
You can not watch TV on Mondays because the puzzle show is on.
You can not watch TV on Sunday because Super Sunday is on.
You don't rent videos unless they are subtitled.
A meal is not complete without Kimchee.
She won't eat American food unless served with a side of Kimchee.
She believes that the floor is more comfortable to sleep on than the bed.
You have an electric blanket on 356 days a year.
You turn on a fan in the summer but still have the electric blanket on.
You burn your butt sitting on the floor.
You believe that controlled drugs can be bought over the counter.
You go to the pharmacy to buy an IV.
You do not own any chairs in your house.
You refuse to own any Japanese products in your house.
The only thing she knows how to do on your computer is play solitaire.
Everyone she introduces you to is either a brother or a sister.
Her immediate family moves into your house permanently.
Everything in your house either has the logo Samsung or LG.
She can't buy clothes unless they have a logo on them.
She owns a beeper/pager that has a gold chain attached to it.
She gets mad when you flush toilet paper down the toilet.
She won't buy clothes from a store that is going out of business because
she believes there is something wrong with the clothes.
She believes that 1000 Won is enough money for lunch.
She believes going out to dinner is going down the street to the Soju
tent.
You eat Ramen and kimchee for breakfast.
You go to the open market to buy one thing and leave with both arms full.
You own more than one type of Ramen in your house.
She believes that Ramen, Rice, Soju, and Kimchee are the 4 basic food
groups.
You answer the phone in your house with "YOBO-SAY-O."
You heat a dried squid over an open flame.
You eat dried squid with mayonnaise.