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  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• Hilarious Flight Information from the Airline Employees Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported...
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• EEKING OUT A LIVING IN RADIOACTIVE SHOES Come now, don’t any of you baby boomers remember having your childhood feet x-rayed at the shoe store?
  It was right about the time we were being stuffed with megadoses of penicillin no matter what the wheezy etiology, and ducking for cover under one-armed elementary school desks in mock nuclear bomb attacks....
• The USENET Guide to Power Posting 1. Conspiracies abound
  If everyone's against you, the reason can't *possibly* be that you're a fuckhead....
• Federal Aviation Agency, Washington 25, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• Federal Aviation Administration, Washington, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• One of my instructors in FE school told me about this.
  Apparently the loadmaster on a USAF C-130 was invited to take the engineer's seat for awhile....