From werner Wed Jul 13 14:06:34 1988
Flags: 000000000000
From: alj@mtunb.UUCP
Subject: Have I got a deal
Keywords: heard it, chuckle
Date: 14 Sep 88 15:30:04 GMT
Satan comes down to visit a famous, utterly ruthless Hollywood producer.
Satan says, "Look, I have a business proposition for you. I can get you
any deal you want, with anybody in the business, on any terms you like."
The producer's eyes light up. "Hmm. . . and what do you want from me?"
Satan smiles. "Your immortal soul."
The producer sits back and ponders, stroking his goatee. "I don't get it.
Where's the catch?"
From werner Wed Jul 13 14:06:34 1988
Flags: 000000000000
From: brad@uqcspe.oz.au (Brad Broom)
Subject: COBOL programming anyone?
Keywords: funny, true, original
Date: 15 Sep 88 03:30:03 GMT
Organization: Computer Science, Queensland Uni, Australia
Sick of writing C/Pascal/Ada? This is probably enough to make COBOL
programming very attractive:
An ad in Tuesday's Australian, back page, right-hand column:
(copied without permission)
BANKING EXPR NOT NECESSARY
(4)COBOL PROGS.......To 434K++
Low Interest Loans
19 Day Month
With this sort of income, banking experience would soon be obtained.
Brad Broom
brad@uqcspe.oz
PS: Anyone got a good COBOL textbook they'd like to part with?
I had an interesting Saturday night. With a group of friends I went to a
Pub to see a rock band. Usual story, loud music, smoke filled room and copious
amounts of Emu Export. Come closing time me and a mate have had enough so ratherthan go nightclubbing in town we decide to catch a taxi home, but the fleet's in
so a cab is either full of marine's spew or horney sailors. It's a clear night
so we decide to hitch back from Herdsmans Park to my home in Scarborough
( about 8 km ), no problem.
But consider this: would you stop for two six foot, more than slightly
drunk uni students in the wee small hours of the morn'? Funny that, nobody else
did either. But with more than half the distance covered and being bitterly coldwe spied food, sanctuary. So we rocked up to the girlie behind the counter and
asked, ( in a druken slurr ) "Do you do home deliveries? One thin ham &
pineapple pizza with garlic bread to be delivered in Scarborough."
And we got home in time to watch "Barbarella" on tele' too.
Andy H. hag@wacsvax.uwa.oz
[ And if they're not home in 30 minutes, it's free. Most taxis don't offer
that sort of guarantee. ]
