Big Jokes

Big Jokes

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Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Winston Churchill: "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals....
Harry Bende
James Thurber: "I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.
Johnny Hart's comic strip "B.C.": "If man evolved from the ape, how come there are still apes around?
Some of them were given choices....
Bill Watterson, cartoonist: "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Unidentified Scientist: "After two years of trying, scientists at the Yerkes Regional Primate Center have managed to get a chimpanzee pregnant.
Which proves that no task is repugnant to a true...
Irv Kupcinet: "What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. -- Ben Frankli
A Los Angeles judge ruled that "a citizen may snore with immunity in his own home, even though he may be in possession of unusual and exceptional ability in that particular field.

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