Related:

• But right now I'm using "This is a boring answering machine message.
  Leave a message anyway." because I'm sick of people ringing the phone at 10am just so they can hear the clever messages I usually have, and then hanging up without even leaving a "like your message" message....
• Odd that no-one mentioned the fun to be had with all the new and wonderful phone features available now.
  None of the below are truly destructive. Adjust gender as appropriate (women's lib be damned, I'm not going to type his/her, s/he every time)....
• Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done.
  .. (Cachunk!)...
• Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done .
  ... {Cachunk!}...
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine. Another voice
  Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our chief use is to get your name....
• This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and numbe
  and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI....
• Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life.
  After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks....
• Just after the earthquake a friend of mine put on his answering machine
  "Hi, this is Jeff. We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the Earthquake....