Related:

• As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality.
  You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine....
• Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
• Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
• In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. [sound effec
  Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex] But this method doesn't work with a telephone call....
• Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead.
  Wait for the beep....
• Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life.
  After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks....
• Star Trek theme in the background:) (Voice 1:) Room 17, the final frontier.
  (Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine....
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....