Related:

• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.
  When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin....
• Tis the Season - Swimsuit Time I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing costume.
  When I was a child in the 1950's, the bathing costume for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure - boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered....
• Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• A nifty, if difficult, practical joke: This only really works with friends (preferably the trusting type).
  Get the victim to your house, then talk (or do whatever you normally do together) for a while....
• JEFFREY DAHMER JOKES Q: What other charges will be filed against Dahmer?
  A: Selling arms to Iran. Q: What were they playing on the radio when the police entered Dahmer's apartment?...
• Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a kazoo.
  If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench)....
• Some Classic Blonde Jokes 1.) What do you call an eternity?
  Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop. 2.) Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?...