Related:

• To whom should I go to for some self-help? When Alexander The Great was waging war on the entire known world of his time, it chanced that he recieved a slight spear-wound on his wrist.
  Wrapping an old cloth around it, he continued the battle....
• Women! You can't live with them..... pass the beer nuts...
• Ok, then there's another song, then it comes back with just acoustic guitar and about 7,000,000 people singing.
  .. I Like 'em Dead (reprise) (He likes 'em dead) You kill 'em I'll grill 'em (He likes 'em dead) You hang 'em I'll bang 'em (He likes 'em dead) You impale 'em I'll nail 'em You can bet as long as I'm around You'll never bury a virgin in the ground....
• If at first you don't fricassee, fry, fry a hen.
• Don't overtax yourself.. it's the gov't's job Why is American beer like making love in a canoe?
  They're both f*cking close to water! Women! You can't live with them....
• Only you can stop women from driving, ONLY you!
• Mondays can be hell if you let them!
• Q: Why do women have two holes on the bottom? A: So when they get drunk at a party, you can carry them home like a six-pack.
• Witty Words of Wisdom: Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
  Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them....