We hold these postulates to be intuitively obvious, that all
physicists are born equal, to a first approximation, and are endowed
by their creator with certain discrete privileges, among them a mean
rest life, n degrees of freedom, and the following rights which are
invariant under all linear transformations:
1. To approximate all problems to ideal cases.
2. To use order of magnitude calculations whenever deemed necessary
(i.e. whenever one can get away with it).
3. To use the rigorous method of "squinting" for solving problems
more complex than the addition of positive real integers.
4. To dismiss all functions which diverge as "nasty" and
"unphysical."
5. To invoke the uncertainty principle when confronted by confused
mathematicians, chemists, engineers, psychologists, dramatists und
anderen Schweinehunden.
6. When pressed by non-physicists for an explanation of (4) to mumble
in a sneering tone of voice something about physically naive
mathematicians.
7. To equate two sides of an equation which are dimensionally
inconsistent, with a suitable comment to the effect of, "Well, we
are interested in the order of magnitude anyway."
8. To the extensive use of "bastard notations" where conventional
mathematics will not work.
9. To invent fictitious forces to delude the general public.
10. To justify shaky reasoning on the basis that it gives the right
answer.
11. To cleverly choose convenient initial conditions, using the
principle of general triviality.
12. To use plausible arguments in place of proofs, and thenceforth
refer to these arguments as proofs.
13. To take on faith any principle which seems right but cannot be
proved.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
