A COLLECTIVE FROM MEDICAL INTERVIEW RECORDS WRITTEN BY VARIOUS
PARAMEDICS, EMERGENCY ROOM RECEPTIONISTS, AND (WE ARE AFRAID)
A DOCTOR OR TWO AT MAJOR HOSPITALS.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to
the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The skin was moist and dry.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life
until 1989 when she got a divorce.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his
airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle,
who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to
Los Angeles.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
She is numb from her toes down.
Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right
foot.
While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent
home.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job
as a stockbroker instead.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his
family in no distress.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Thanks James Nomura <jtnomura@sirius.com> via Dick Landman <dick@trail.com>
