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• If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK.
  That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window....
• Famous Last Words: ** I'll get a world record for this.
  . ** It's fireproof. ** He's probably just hibernating....
• Pizza Pranks 1. Press random numbers while giving order (touch-tone phone), and ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
  2. Tell the order taker that you have a rival pizza place on the other line, and you're going with the lowest bidder....
• You have to read the whole thing: The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.
  1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time....
• The Canonical List of Banjo Jokes [No Banjo Pickin' Allowed Around Here] preface Below is the much talked about, Canonical List of Banjo Jokes.
  Much talked about, but never revealed; until now. This presentation is the result of the tireless efforts of an international network of operatives who combed the earth (and beyond) checking and cross-checking sources to make sure that this time we had the real thing...
• Lung Cancer in Women Mushroom
• How'bout some stuffed mushrooms?
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• The Following are all Quotes from 11yr old Student's Science Exam
  **"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin....