Here are some things to do when you're in a less than happy mood:
Free your spider collection.
Threaten bunnies.
Short-sheet the bed.
Gnash your teeth.
Drive at 25 mph on the freeway.
Snore loudly.
Take the last cookie.
Jam the pay toilet door.
Put gummy stuff inside books.
Feign serious illness.
Unscrew the salt shaker lid.
Spraypaint someone's fluglehorn.
Drop bugs on passersby.
Step on some feet.
Pour honey in someone's hair. When they are visiting an ant farm.
Tickle people with a branch of poison ivy.
Soap windows.
Pour honey in the mailbox.
Rake the leaves into your neighbor's yard.
Put your sneakers in the refrigerator.
Ignore everybody.
Go to the grocery and squish the fruits.
Turn on the sprinkler at a lawn party.
Clog the sink.
Ruin the punchline.
Be obnoxious.
Spread vicious rumors.
Put Superglue(TM) on the keycaps.
Enroll your friends in record clubs.
Don't use deodorant.
Use all the hot water.
Call somebody up at 3am.
Don't wipe your feet.
Talk gibberish during serious conversation.
Shout in the library.
Forget your mother's birthday.
Toss babies.
Burp.
Stare at somebody.
Break something.
Snore in a church.
Spray-paint someone's eyeglasses.
Stomp through the flower bed.
Don't leave a tip.
Put ink in the White-Out bottle.
Eat onions.
Stand in front of the TV.
Sneak up on people.
Put piranhas in the swimming pool.
Stray into other people's snapshots.
Teach someone tape-based batch Fortran.
Reveal the ending.
Leave a cow on your neighbor's porch.
Litter.
Drop your hors d'oeuvre and grind it into the carpet.
Point at people.
Put stones in all the shoes.
Smoke large black cigars.
Scratch someone's favorite record.
Squirt water through your teeth.
Never remember anyone's name.
Clip your toenails in public.
Throw waterbombs.
Hoard overdue library books.
Wake someone up violently.
Eat someone else's lunch.
Demoralize your friends.
Take up two parking places.
Press all the buttons in the elevator.
Leave a ring in the bathtub.
Put salt in his contact-lens solution.
Constantly interrupt.
Use all the toilet paper.
Scrape your fingernails across the blackboard.
Go wild with shaving cream.
Saw the leg off a chair.
Write insincere love letters.
Throw a tomato.
Eat sloppily.
BE A KID AGAIN....
Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces
Sing into your hairbrush
Grow a milk mustache
Smile back at the man in the moon
Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away
Dunk your cookies
Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running
Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along
Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach
Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even
though you wanted both of them for yourself
Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing
Step carefully over sidewalk cracks
Change into some play clothes
Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich
Have a staring contest with your cat
Eat ice cream for breakfast
Kiss a frog just in case
Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck"
Blow the wrapper off a straw
Refuse to eat crusts
Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no"
Watch TV in your pajamas
Ask "Why?...
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
