Setting: A courtroom. Defense attorney questioning a robbery victim.
Defense Attorney: Mr. Smith, you were held up at gunpoint on the
corner of Fifth Avenue and Main Street on August 7th, is that
correct?
Smith: Yes, that's correct.
Defense: Did you struggle with the alleged robber?
Smith: No.
Defense: Why in the world not?
Smith: He was armed.
Defense: Then you made a conscious decision to comply with his
demands rather than resist?
Smith: Yes.
Defense: Have you ever given money away before?
Smith: I didn't give it away, it was...
Defense: (interrupting) Please answer the question, Mr. Smith.
Smith's Attorney (the prosecution): Objection, your Honor! My
client's prior financial history is irrelevant to these
proceedings.
Defense: Oh no, it most certainly is not. In fact I am trying
to establish a pattern here which may explain the happenings on
August 7th. If the witness has an extensive history of giving
money away, then his honesty about the so-called "robbery" would
reasonably come under question.
Judge: Objection overruled. Please answer the question Mr.
Smith.
Defense: Now, Mr. Smith, do you ever give money away?
Smith: Yes, of course.
Defense: And you do so willingly?
Smith: Of course. What are you getting at?
Defense: Do you enjoy giving away money?
Smith: Yes, that's why I do it.
Defense: Well, let's put it like this, Mr. Smith, shall we?
You've given money away in the past. In fact it is quite
possible that the defendant recognized you as someone who has
quite a reputation for philanthropy. How can we be sure that you
did not _want_ to have your money taken by force? And even if you
didn't want it taken _this_ time, how can we expect the defendant
to have known that?
Smith: That's ridiculous! If I had...
Defense: (interrupting) And how much did you give the man?
Smith: I didn't _give_...
Judge: (interrupting) Answer the question please Mr. Smith.
Defense: How much did you give him?
Smith: One hundred dollars.
Defense: One hundred dollars? That doesn't seem like a lot for
someone who has given away so much money before.
Smith: Uh... It was very traumatic. I felt my life was in
danger.
Defense: Yes, well we know that's your story. So you were
carrying one hundred dollars in cash. What time did the
"robbery" take place?
Smith: Around eleven at night.
Defense: You were out on the streets alone at eleven p.m. with
one hundred dollars in cash? Doing what, for heaven's sake?
Smith: Just walking.
Defense: Just walking? Don't you know that it's dangerous to be
out on the street late at night? Weren't you aware that you
could be held up?
Smith: I hadn't really thought about it. I was just walking.
Defense: Are you sure you weren't _looking_ for someone to give
money to?
Smith: NO! I was just out for a walk.
Judge: I will have no more outbursts like that in my courtroom,
Mr. Smith.
Defense: And what were you wearing?
Smith: A suit.
Defense: An expensive suit?
Smith: Well, I am a successful business person.
Defense: Don't you think it is rather foolish to wear an
expensive suit after midnight when you are carrying a hundred
dollars?
Smith: But it wasn't after midnight, it was eleven pm.
Defense: So you do admit then that it _would_ be foolish to be
out after midnight?
Smith: That's not what I said. I was just correcting...
Judge: (interrupting) Answer the question Mr. Smith.
Smith: No, I don't think that it would be foolish.
Defense: So, in other words, Mr. Smith, you were walking the
streets late at night in a bad part of town, wearing a suit that
practically _advertised_ the fact that you might be a good target
for easy money, isn't that so? I mean, Mr. Smith, one might
logically conclude that you were asking for this to happen.
Smith: But I...
Defense: (interrupting) The defense rests, your Honor.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
