Today, in a tragic accident at the Exxon corporate headquarters, the
fish truck "Prince William Express" slammed into the side of the main
building of the new corporate headquarters spilling more than 20 tons
of dead herring, salmon, sea otters and various other wildlife on to
the pristine lawn of the Exxon complex.
Skipper Joe Woodhead was passed out the in the sleeper compartment of the
state-of-the-art fish truck when the truck struck the clearly-marked
building. "Bobo", the skipper's dog, had the wheel at the time of
the accident. Bobo, whose certification does not permit him to drive
on planet earth, was unavailable for comment, and confirmed sources
suggest he has a history of drug abuse.
The skipper contends that he was not drunk at the time of the
accident, but when he realized the seriousness of the spill he ran
out to a local tavern and pounded down a half-dozen beers. Woodhead
also contends that he told Bobo to give him a "Bud light", not a "hard
right".
The President of the Prince William Express Co. said that they would
assume full responsibility for the spill and would submit a plan in
about a month on the proposed clean-up procedure. He also stated
that they ship over a million tons of seafood a year and that an
accident like this is just the price we have to pay to eat fish.
When asked about the clean-up equipment for such a spill, company
officials commented that a small pickup with a shovel in it was in
Gopher Spits, Iowa, but had a flat tire and therefore would be unable
to be dispatched to the scene.
On the market side of things, fish prices will increase by 20% for
all species.
Vice President Dan Quail flew to the texaco headquarters today and
reported that there appeared to be no damage, and was returning to
Washington, DC.
Related:
I got this from a neighbor who works for a fish packing company. ..
NEWS BULLETIN!!!
Today, in a tragic accident at the Exxon corporate headquarters, the
fish truck "Prince William Express" slammed into the side of the main
building of the new corporate headquarters spilling more than 20 tons
of dead herring, salmon, sea otters and various other wildlife on to
the pristine lawn of the Exxon complex....
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
IN WAKE OF JONES DISMISSAL, A NEW FOCUS FOR STARR
WASHINGTON April 1 (Associated Press)--In the wake of the dismissal of the
Paula Jones sexual-harassment lawsuit, Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr is
focusing his investigation on allegations that President Clinton and members
of the White House staff regularly drink red wine with fish, according to
sources close to the investigation....
