Related:

• The sign in front of a New Hampshire church proclaimed, "If you're tired of sin, come in.
  Underneath it someone had scrawled in lipstick, "If you're not, call Marie at 624-8971....
• My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
• A minister put a sign on his church: If you're through with sin Come in Somebody scrawled on it in lipstick
  If you're not: Call 447-8912...
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Sign in an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
• I can't come to the phone now, so... hey -- that's a nice phone you have there.
  Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time....
• I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there.
  Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• The Golden Phones: It seems a man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country.
  He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there....