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• Discussion in a shop: - do you have two-watt lightbulbs, please?
  - for what? - no, two. - to what? - yes. - no. - grrrr.......
• YES, Cherry is my real name!
• I have a photographic memory. What's your name again???
• Looking for a good time? Call 1-900-555-1212, and speak to the most beautiful operators West of the Atlantic!
  Hear them say "What city please, big boy?" They'll get you hot, asking you "What's the party's name, you luscious piece of man-meat?...
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• Q: So your name is John Smith.And what is your marital status? A: Fair.
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• Jerk! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
  I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?...
• A guy walks into a bar ... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink.
  So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, "What's the name of your penis?...