100 reasons why it's great to be a girl
1. free dinners
2. free lunches
3. free brunches
4. free movies (you get the point)
5. you can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay
6. you can cry without pretending there's something in your contact
7. you know the truth about whether size matters
8. speeding ticket? What's that? (??????)
9. you can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay
10. you actually get extra points for sitting on your butt watching sports
11. you don't have to try to laugh louder, deeper and harder than your
buddies
12. if you never have a son, it's okay
13. if you do have a son, and he's a lousy athlete, it's still okay
14. if YOU'RE a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a
human being
15. a new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life
16. in high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder
strategically positioned
17. if you have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, it
doesn't mean you're the devil
18. you don't have to count how many people you've slept with
19. condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex
20. if you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud
21. if you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass ceiling
22. you can sleep your way to the top
23. you can sue for sexual harassment
24. you can sue the President for sexual harassment
25. if you're not very attractive, you can fool 'em with makeup
26. if you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a big loser
27. same with tanning beds
28. nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep
29. you could possibly live your whole life without ever taking a group
shower
30. you can get free stuff just by smiling sweetly
31. if you're pregnant, YOU get to decide what to do about it
32. Brad Pitt
33. you don't have to fart to amuse yourself
34. if you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being
emotionally neglected
35. you never have to wonder if your orgasm was real
36. you'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper
37. when you take off your shoes, nobody passes out
38. if the person you're dating is much better at something than you are,
you don't have to break up with them
39. if you think the person your dating really likes you, you don't have to
break up with them
40. excitement is only as far away as the nearest drug/beauty-aid store
41. if you don't shave, no one will know
42. you can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass
43. if you have a zit, you can conceal it
44. you don't have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates
are still there.
45. if you want to have sex, you always can
46. if you're dumb, some people will find it cute
47. you don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in
48. if you love someone, it's easy for you to tell them
49. you can dress yourself
50. your hair is yours to keep
51. if you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and you're
really chic
52. once a month, you have an excuse to be a total bitch
53. you don't need a special occasion to hug your dad
54. you never have to wonder if you'll offend someone by opening then door
for them
55. when necessary, you can live without sex
56. you can always get a ride hitchhiking
57. you don't have to pretend to like cigars
58. you don't have to pretend you liked cigars before they were cool
59. you'll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything
60. you can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture
them naked
61. if you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot
62. you don't think that wearing a warm coat in the dead of winter makes you
look like a wuss
63. you're rarely compelled to scream at the TV
64. if you wear cologne, you don't have to pretend it's aftershave
65. you'll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley
66. you never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist
67. you don't have a scar right under your chin
68. you and your friends don't have to get totally wasted in order to share
your feelings
69. if you talk to your mom every day, it's normal
70. if you pick up the check once in a while, that's plenty
71. sitting and watching people is all the entertainment you need
72. you can quickly end any fight simply by crying
73. you can decide not to work once you've had kids
74. your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in
your teeth
75. when you get a million catalogues in the mail, it's a good thing
76. sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems
77. if you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it
78. you have never had a goatee
79. gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable
80. you'll never regret piercing your ears
81. you can fully assess someone just by looking at their shoes
82. you'll never discover you've been fooled by a Wonderbra
83. when you wear sweatpants, it isn't obscene
84. you know better than to ever use Grecian Formula
85. it doesn't take you an hour to go to the bathroom
86. you don't have hair on your back
87. your doctor never has to put on a rubber glove
88. when you get dumped, you can admit you're depressed
89. if anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get
implants
90. you can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark
91. If you have big ears, no one has to know
92. if someone takes your seat in a bar, you don't have to hit them
93. it's okay if you can't drive a stick
94. Ally McBeal
95. you get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can
96. you can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny
97. you can borrow your spouse's clothes and it doesn't mean you belong on
Jerry Springer
98. you've known the joy of making a collage for your BFF
99. you bond easily
100. when you become President, you'll be the first woman ever
