The Human Race
In Case You Needed Further Proof That The Human Race Is Doomed Through
Stupidity, Here Are Some Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Good
The Human Race
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be .. how??)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
(!!!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on the bottom of the box)--Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time???)
(Whose body??)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we just kept
those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to outer space or underground)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmmmm, now I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(no comment)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(what is going on here?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(as if you try to stop *anything* with your
genitals--clearly my favorite of the list)
On a child's superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...