Tale Of The Sandwich Trailer
Here's the background:
Bill works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of
CSUC, Chuck is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to
Bill, this actually happened. (Chuck is telling the story).
Her: Yes, I'd like a milk with some coffee in it.
Me: So, that's just a splash of coffee in a milk?
Her: No, a regular amount of milk, but not coffee.
Me: Is there more milk or coffee?
Her: Oh, definitely more coffee.
Me: So that's a coffee with some extra milk.
Her: Just the usual amount of milk.
Me: A coffee with milk.
Her: Yes.
Me: Anything else?
Her: A little extra milk and do you have coffee with no caffeine?
Me: We do have decaf.
Her: No, I don't want decaf, just some coffee without the caffeine.
Me: Ma'am, that's what decaf means, no caffeine.
Her: Oh, then do you have milk with no caffeine?
Me: Milk doesn't come with caffeine.
Her: Yes it does.
Me: Not that I know of, where do you get your milk?
Her: It doesn't say caffeine free on the milk so it must have caffeine.
Me: Oh, you're right, my mistake, I forgot that we only get the decaf
milk. No problem, we have only decaf milk. Anything else?
Her: Do you have any bagels?
Bill: (who has been listening all along): I'm sorry, ma'am, we're all
out of decaf bagels.
Her: Well, what are those? (pointing at sesame bagels)
Bill: Those are sesame donuts with extra caffeine added.
Her: I guess I'll just have the coffee.
Her: Do you take credit cards?
Me: No ma'am, cash only.
Her: What about visa?
Me: Is that a credit card?
Her: Well, yes.
Bill: Is it cash?
Her: No.
Bill: Then no, we can't take it.
Her: What about checks?
Me: Cash ma'am, nothing else.
Her: O.K.
Her: How much is that?
Bill: Eleven dollars and 45 cents.
Her: Really?
Bill: New war in Alaska is ruining the coffee business, plus you wanted the
coffee with no caffeine, that's hard to find now, had to grow it myself.
Her: O.K. (proceeds to write a check)
Bill: Please leave.
Her: Why?
Bill: You're raising my blood pressure, leave now.
Her: But what about my coffee?
Bill: Leave and never return.
She leaves, but pays the $11.45 first. Seriously.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
