THOUGHT YOU MIGHT GET A KICK OUT OF THESE (ACTUAL!) SIGNS:
Sign in London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.
Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE: $1 PER PRE-PACKED BAG -.25 CENTS
DO-IT-YOURSELF.
In a laundry, on each washing machine: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND
STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE BY THIS DOOR.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use the side
door)
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH; IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,
OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.
Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN.
EVERYONE WELCOME.
In a cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE
THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
In a health food shop: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
In a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
In a hotel during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND
DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
In a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR
FREE, BUT BE AWARE THAT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (Please knock hard on
the door -- the bell doesn't work)
In an office building washroom: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE
FLOOR BELOW.
