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• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• POLITICALLY INCORRECT DEFINITIONS OF WHAT BILL CLINTON'S REALLY SAYING What he says.
  ...........................What he means ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "My fellow citizens"....
• I thought you'd all like to hear about the potential candidates meeting with the Wizard of Oz.
  .. First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart"....
• YOUR NEW OFFICIAL TAX FORM 1. Enter your social security numbe
  ___-__-____ 2. How much money did you make last year?...
• THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS....THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN "Members of Congress.
  ..People of America....I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong....
• US President Bill Clinton plans to reduce the budget deficit by an appeal to sacrifice.
  The problem, however, is that every time he gets near a virgin....
• Q. Why did Bill get into this problem? A. He didn't know that harass was one word.
  Q. Clinton Presidential Anthem A. Kneel to the Chief Q....
• Wary Klink Live-Pillory Clinton Wary: "Hello, welcome to Wary Klink Live.
  Tonight's guests will be First Lady elect Pillory Clinton....
• FROM NATIONAL REVIEW, February 15 1993, The Week, p.
  14 "Little noted by the press, vegetable-rights activists raided the kitchen of the Willard Hotel in Washington, D....