Things You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support ** "Do You Have A Sledgehammer Or A Brick Handy?

Things You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support ** "Do You Have A Sledgehammer Or A Brick Handy?

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Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support
** "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
** "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
** "So... what are you wearing?"
** "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
** "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if
you're with the FTC."
** "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct
tape, and a car battery."
** "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
** "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
** "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
** "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
** "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

Related:

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on....
Wary Klink Live-Pillory Clinton Wary: "Hello, welcome to Wary Klink Live.
Tonight's guests will be First Lady elect Pillory Clinton....
Calling Technical Support.... Ring... Ring... Ring.
.. Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring....
ALIEN ZOMBIE & THE CONGO LIZARDS You�re in luck. As my luck would have it, I made my bones in a musical family.
Grandpop slapped ivories at the Congo, and Daddy-O moonlit his rocket �88 in the lizard lounges....
Because I'm A Man... ** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at....
You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
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The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes ----------------------------------- 12/15/92 Q
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From Sourcebook Magazine, Summer 1990, by Dan Gutma
Would the invention of the telephone ever have gotten off the ground if Alexander Graham Bell's first call had gone ....