Related:

• One Liners Worth Remembering Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Eagles may soa
  but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol I intend to live forever - so far, so good I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?...
• More One Liners * If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  * For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain....
• A COLLECTION OF ONE-LINERS Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Eagles may soa
  but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol I intend to live forever-so far, so good I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?...
• Some Bumper Stickers: ** Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot ** Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOt ** He who laughs last thinks slowest ** If you don't like the new
  go out and make some ** Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home ** I think animal testing is a terrible idea...
• One Liners If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer....
• Aphorisms: ***** Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
• Here are my categories, with examples (his): ENGLISH
  I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out....