Related:

• Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear.
  The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean....
• Two Irishmen met and one said to the other, "Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?
  Pat said, "Well, I have and I haven't." His friend asked, "Shure, and what d'ye mean by that?...
• An Atheist... A self professed Atheist, hiking in the woods ran across a bear that begins to chase him.
  When he cannot get away from the bear, running, he falls and the bear approaches....
• Two dogs walking through the woods, both get caught in bear traps.
  One dog says, "We need to chew off a leg to get loose....
• A man went to Confession and said to the priest : "Forgive me, Father.
  I used the F-word this week." "Ah, my son. Tell me the circumstances which caused you to use the F-word....
• Let's say you were trapped inside this room. Inside this room were 2 doors, and 2 caged talking - tigers.
  One of the doors was an exit into the paradise. The other was an exit into a bottomless pit- (In other words, if you opened this door, you'd fall until your insides get ripped apart by the G-forces- actually you'd still fall- Anyway....
• A man walks into the chemist's: "Have you got cotton wool balls?
  Assistant: "What do you think I am, a teddy bear?...
• How do you keep an Englishman happy in his old age?
  Tell him a joke when he's young. Do you know why the British ships came back from the Falkland Islands full of sheep?...