Related:

• A judge asked a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.
  From out in the audience a man shouted, "Lying bastard!...
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• The 3 bears The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court.
  Momma and Poppa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with....
• By John Hooper in Madrid A question left hanging by John Cleese-- what is the value of a dead parrot?
  has finally been resolved by a Barcelona judge. His honour Antonio Nunio de la Rosa has ruled that a dead parrot is worth 150,000 pesetas ($...
• From the Manchester Guardian Weekly, Oct. 6, 1991 This dead parrot is difunto --------------------------- By John Hooper in Madrid A question left hanging by John Cleese-- what is the value of a dead parrot?
  has finally been resolved by a Barcelona judge....
• Mrs. Jones, Do You Know Me? A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
  He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?...
• A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.
  It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty....
• I had similar experience. I was in the mall when this woman was being attacked by a man.
  She was driving a brand new van. She grabbed the aerial off of the van and swung it toward the man, stabbing him in the chest....