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• There was an old man of Duluth Whose cock was shot off in his youth.
  He fucked with his nose, And his fingers and toes, And he came through a hole in his tooth....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• This guy was walking through the zoo one day. When he was in front of the gorilla cage he bent down to tie his shoe.
  He noticed through the corner of his eye that the gorilla had also bent down....
• The lady sipped her champagne, but when the gentleman went to sip his champagne the little man on his shoulder jumped on the bar, grabbed the glass, and threw the champagne in the gentleman's face.
  The bartender saw this and thought it was very strange....
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• There was a young man from Marsailles, Who lived on clap-juice and snails, When he couldn't afford these, He lived on the cheese, He scraped from his cock with his nails.
• Once there was a man who went all through college and decided he didn't like it, so he dropped out to become a trolley car conductor.
  ..He loved the trolley cars...he had loved them since he had been a child in San Francisco....
• Confucius say: Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
  If a train-station is where a train stops what happens at a workstation?...
• Punny 1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
  2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor....