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• Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
  From werner Wed Oct 26 14:06:34 1988 Flags: 000000000001 From...
• Reason for Swearing... Once there was a man who walked into a confessional.
  ell me your sins" said the priest. "Father," replied the man "I have used some foul language over the weekend and I feel absolutely terrible"....
• If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulder of giants.
  -- Isaac Newton If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Murphy's Military Laws 1. You are not superman.
  2. If it's stupid but works, it isnt stupid. 3....
• Grounds for Something... A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?
  She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by....
• The Divorce... A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?
  She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by....
• However, the most effective one I have had so far can be used only one day per yea
  This is David. I'm not using the phone over Yom Kippur, so please leave a message or call back after the holiday....
• cars and driving --- For a while I didn't have a car.
  .. I had a helicopter... no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running....