Maitre de Cuisine (Chief Cook) of a famous restaurant
to a salesperson in the Stationery Department :
"Do you have 97 of these 'Get Well Soon'-cards ? ....."
These are all true Groucho Marx anecdotes garnered from "The Portable
Curmudgeon" compiled by Jon Winokur.
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Groucho Marx was having problems sexually (premature ejaculation).
Someone recommended a topical creme guaranteed to prolong erection. When asked
later whether it worked, Groucho replied, "I came rubbing the stuff on."
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A guest on Groucho Marx's "You Bet Your Life" television show was a
woman who had given birth to twenty-two children. "I love my husband," the
woman explained sheepishly.
"I love my cigar too," Groucho said, "but I take it out once in a
while."