As the senate confirmation hearings on Supreme Court nominee Clarence C.
Thomas drew to a close, a startling revelation was made. Not only did
Mr. Thomas discuss a pornographic movie star named Long Dong Silver, he in
fact IS Long Dong Silver.
The discovery was made by Senator Edward (Ted) Kennedy in the senate men's
room. "He's been giving us a difficult time in there," said Senator Kennedy
at a press conference this afternoon. "I wanted him to know who's was
bigger. Boy was I surprised when I peeked over the stall."
While Mr. Thomas has admitted to being the porno movie star, he continues to
deny all charges of sexual harrassment. "I was required to shave my genitals
during filming," Thomas said, "so I was very sensitive about pubic hair jokes.
I would not have made that comment about the hair in the drink."
There have been rumors that this story was actually a last-ditch attempt to
distract attention away from the harrassment issue. A group of women who
have been in the Kennedy compound have come forward to make their claims
public. One was heard to say, "the thought of Ted Kennedy comparing himself
to another man is ludicrous. Ted Kennedy comparing himself to a ground
squirrel would be more approrpriate."
Professor Hill was unavailable for comment. However, she was recently seen
purchasing a VCR.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
