Okay, Here 'tis, Boys And Girls. After Many Seconds Of Intense Thought, I Have Devised The Definitive, And In Fact The Official List Of Silly Newsgroups.

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Okay, here 'tis, boys and girls. After many seconds of intense thought,
I have devised the definitive, and in fact the Official List of Silly
Newsgroups. I would like to thank the many fine folks who contributed
significantly to this list. Any additions or corrections are
appreciated; post or e-mail. Also, be sure to hold on to this list:
the Top Ten Favorite Silly Newsgroup Poll is coming soon! Now, on to
the list.

alt.biff.is.god
alt.c.is.for.cookie.that's.good.enough.for.me
alt.castration
alt.child.star.coke.coke.coke
alt.conspiracy.sean
alt.decapitation
alt.eric.olson.doesn't.exist
alt.fan.charles_manson
alt.fan.david_duke
alt.fan.ted_kaldis
alt.finns.on.irc.who.hate.americans
alt.flame.anyone.but.ted.kaldis
alt.flame.fuck.you.jack.i'm.alright
alt.fubar
alt.get.a.life
alt.he's.dead.jim
alt.hitler.is.alive.and.running.a.brothel.with.roy.orbison
alt.i.know.roger.carasso
alt.individualism.rand.is.god.and.kant.and.hegel.can.suck.my.dick
alt.mud.jason
alt.multi-level.marketing.scam.scam.scam
alt.nkotb.die.die.die
alt.nodies.conspiracy
alt.pro-wrestling.davey.boy.meltzer
alt.pyramid.scams.amway.amway.amway
alt.rap.eazy-e.threw.up.on.the.alpine.in.his.six-fo
alt.rap.yeah.boyeeeee
alt.romance.chat.barf.barf.barf
alt.romance.chat.wombat
alt.rtfm
alt.sex.bestiality.muppets
alt.sex.chairlift
alt.sex.cowpatti
alt.sex.falwell-robertson.child.pornography.inc
alt.sex.george.and.barbara
alt.sex.hey.little.girl.want.some.pez
alt.sex.june.cleaver
alt.sex.masturbation.chainsaw
alt.sex.moral.majority
alt.sex.necrophilia
alt.sex.pastry
alt.sex.pictures.polaroid
alt.sex.pressure
alt.sex.rent-a-can
alt.sex.robotics
alt.sex.twisted.coat.hanger
alt.sex.vms.no.wait.that's.fuck.vms
alt.sex.withdrawal
alt.sex.900-lines
alt.sig
alt.suicide.child.star
alt.suicide.usenet
alt.traci.lords.suck.suck.suck
alt.tv.al_sharpton
alt.wombat
comp.equipment.bonfires
comp.my.amiga.is.better.than.your.mac.nyah.nyah.nyah
comp.org.kkk
comp.os.holy-wars
comp.sys.terminal.dumb.dumb.dumb
comp.we.don't.need.no.stinking.vaxes
misc.forsale.life
misc.misc.misc.misc.misc.misc.misc.misc.misc.misc
news.lists.cowpatti.and.kent
news.masturbation
news.newusers.questions.rtfm
news.why
pdx.only.at.tom.peterson's.the.happy.place.to.buy
rec.abortion
rec.arts.culinary.spam
rec.arts.dog.shit
rec.arts.poems.jim_morrison
rec.arts.poems.vogon
rec.arts.there.had.better.be.brie.at.this.reception
rec.discrimination
rec.drugs
rec.euthanasia
rec.food.spam
rec.humor.quayle
rec.mag.hustler
rec.menstruation
rec.music.cd.cheap.cases
rec.music.debbie.gibson.is.the.antichrist
rec.music.gdead.fans.not.on.acid
rec.music.gdead.masturbation
rec.music.tiffany.still.sounds.like.shit
rec.pyromania
rec.sca.members.who.are.too.busy.playing.muds.to.read.this.group
rec.sport.baseball.it.will.be.a.cold.day.in.hell.when.pete.rose.ever.returns
rec.sport.boxing.babes
rec.sport.fan.riots
rec.sport.flatulation
rec.sport.masturbation
rec.sport.uaa.hockey.lose.lose.lose
rec.suicide
sci.burnt.styrofoam
sci.let's.bore.the.average.user.to.death
sci.masturbation
sci.med.coat.hanger.abortion
sci.med.ganja
sci.traffic.light.synchronization
sci.transportation.go.see.cal
soc.culture.bestiality
soc.culture.billionaires.living.on.the.streets
soc.culture.dykes.on.bikes
soc.culture.east.saint.louis.illinois
soc.culture.industrial.slumlords
soc.culture.inner-city
soc.culture.international.falls.minnesota
soc.culture.lifeless.net.geeks
soc.culture.motley.crue.groupies
soc.culture.northwest.territories
soc.culture.space.station
soc.culture.third.reich
soc.culture.tijuana
soc.culture.unborn.gay.whales
soc.culture.virgins
soc.feminism.castration
soc.feminism.pms
soc.motss.bestiality
soc.motss.bill.and.eric
soc.motss.jesse_helms
spam.baked.beans.are.off
spam.bloody.vikings
spam.canoe
spam.culture.spenard
spam.humor
spam.lovely.spam.wonderful.spam.spam.spam.spam
spam.spam.spam.spam.baked.beans.and.spam
spam.synthetic.vaginas
talk.abortion.twisted.coat.hanger
talk.homophobia
talk.nymphomania
talk.politics.nuke.nicaragua.now
talk.politics.supreme.court.justice.nominees.bork.bork.bork
talk.religion.bhagwan.shree.rajneesh
talk.religion.bob
talk.religion.c.programmers
talk.religion.hare.krishna
talk.religion.net.gods
talk.religion.not
talk.religion.rastafari
talk.religion.sun.myung.moon
ua.fat.ugly.native.bitches.trying.to.get.laid.on.the.vax
ua.flame.but.don't.flame.melanie.back
who.is.john.alt
***************************************************************

Why should one never date a canary?
One could get cherpes which is a canareal disease and there is no known
tweetment.

(Italian accordion music and the sound of SCUBA in background.)
If you see a big eel,
and his teeth are like steel,
That's a Moray. (A Moray!)

If he's big and he's mean
and he's slimy and green,
That's a Moray. (A Moray)

(Chorus) If he slices the hose,
and then leaves you to doze,
That's a Moray!
A Moraaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!
A Moray.

When he's fanning his gills,
Better head for the hills,
That's a Moray. (A Moray!)

From a hole in the reef,
He will bring you much grief,
That's a Moray. (A Moray!)

(Chorus) If he slices the hose,
and then leaves you to doze,
That's a Moray!
A Moraaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!
A Moray.
--
An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the
same lecture night after night. He confided this state of mind to his
chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination. The chauffeur
expressed a similar boredom in his line of work.
"I've got it!" said the astronomer. "You are bored with driving and I am
weary of lecturing. Let's exchange places for one night. It will be a
refreshing change for both of us. My lecture is all written out word for word
and nobody in the next town knows me by sight anyway." The driver agreed and
the exchange of roles and dress was made. That night the lecture hall filled
to capacity. At the appointed time those in attendance heard a flawlessly
delivered lecture. At its conclusion the lecturer basked in the euphoric
applause. Then came the question and answer period.
"Who discovered Uranus?" came from a boy in the front.
"Uh...William Herschel." He remembered that from somewhere.
"And who discovered Pluto?" continued the boy.
"Aaaa...that would be Clyde Tombaugh." He had read a little.
Then from the back: "Would you please comment on the relative merits
of the pulsation instability model and the accretion disk instability model for
the explanation of outbursts of cataclysmic variable stars?"
The speaker paused for a moment, then said, "I am surprised that you
would bother to ask me such a simple question. To show you how really simple
it is I shall have my chauffeur answer it for you."

What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbian bar?
Potpourri!

Did you hear about the dead girl who was found in a vat of milk with a
banana inserted in her anus?
Apparently, it was the work of a cereal killer.

Did you hear about the guy who was into Sadism, Necrophilia and
Bestiality?
He gave it up because it was flogging a dead horse.

What do you call a rock group with Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Handel,
and Chopin?
The Decomposers.

-"Don't you ever call me stupid again. Now tell me you're sorry."
-"I'm sorry that you're stupid."

On the first evening of their honeymoon they are sitting on the balcony
of the hotel while the sun is setting.
-"Honey", she says,"now that we're married, will you tell me
what a penis is ?"
He almost fell off the chair when he heard her ask.
So, being her husband, he led her into their room and took his pants off.
-"*This*, my love, is a penis." he told her.
-"Oh", she exclaimed, "it's like a d*ck, but much smaller."

-"I know a Girl that doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't swear,
goes to bed early, and isn't thinking about sex all the time."
-"Hey, that's great."
-"Yes, I know, and, you know, tomorrow she'll be five years old."