Related:

• This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device.
  After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call....
• Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine.
  If you give me your name and number I'll... Uh, I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it....
• One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine. Another voice
  Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our chief use is to get your name....
• Jerk! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
  I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?...
• Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $
  .95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone......
• Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm *so* depressed.
  I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, yet all I get to do is answer the phone....
• In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. [sound effec
  Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex] But this method doesn't work with a telephone call....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now
  o after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following word...