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Hi, This Is ______________...I'm Not Here Anymore Because I've Committed Suicide--so If It's About Any Money I Owe You, I'll See You In Hell!
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"Hi, this is ______________...I'm not here anymore because I've
committed suicide--so if it's about any money I owe you, I'll
see you in Hell!"
Related:
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
ALIEN ZOMBIE & THE CONGO LIZARDS You’re in luck. As my luck would have it, I made my bones in a musical family.
Grandpop slapped ivories at the Congo, and Daddy-O moonlit his rocket ‘88 in the lizard lounges....
I am committed--or should be.
Voice Mail My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here....
Clinton at the Bank If President Clinton has had to do it like the rest of us.
.. this is how it SHOULD have gone: Hi, Mrs. and Mrs....
A: Hi I make more money than you can spend. B: Hi I'm leaving faster than you can comprehend.
125 Things Never To Say During Sex 1)is it in? 2)that's it?
3)you've got to be kidding me. 4)(phone rings) hello?...
PAINT IT LIKE A COW The Fair. I hadn’t been to one of these
“regional events, held annually, consisting of farm and home product displays, and various competitions and entertainments,” since childhood....
She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...