Related:

• Guy says to his friend, "My wife says your head feels just like her ass.
  Friend reaches up, feels his head and says, "You know, she's right!...
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• Q: Hear about the guy who complained to a friend that his wife had cut him down to twice a week.
  A: The friend said, "Hell that's not so bad, I know two guys she's cut out entirely!...
• This fellow was screwing his best friend's wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.
  "What the hell has happened to you?" the lady asked....
• Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
  If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....
• My Friend Steve One day a husband (named Jim) went off to work as usual, and left his beautiful, well-endowed wife at home, as usual.
  Later in the morning, his best friend, Steve, came to the house and rang the doorbell....
• A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane assylum that is reknowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods.
  They begin by visiting some of the patients. The first patient they visit is a young woman....
• A couple has a male friend from visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeping him from traveling.
  Since the couple has no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in the morning....