Related:

• cars and driving --- For a while I didn't have a car.
  .. I had a helicopter... no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running....
• A man and his wife had gotten into the habit of referring to making love as "doing the laundry" so their kid's wouldn't know what was up.
  One day the man came home from work and said to his wife, "Honey, let's do some laundry....
• There once was a minister who found that he had grown away from his congrega- tion.
  So, in an attempt to come closer to his parishioners, he decided to visit each of them personally....
• Sorry about the mess, I thought it was a fart!
• A man was out driving when he saw a police car in his rear-view mirror, with it's siren wailing.
  The man pulled over and the police car stopped behind him....
• Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
  If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• Two tramps walking down a road feeling sorry for themselves since they've had nothing to eat for 2 weeks.
  Then one of them spots a dead dog lying by the side of the road....