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  Yeah, they put the squeeze on me, said I couldn't concentrate....
• Eleazer Bokar appeared at the gates of Heaven and knocked for admittance.
  The great doors slowly swung open and the patriach Abraham stepped out, blowing his golden trumpet....
• Actual Doctors' Notes On Patient's Charts: ** Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year ** On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
  ** She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night....
• From Real Resumes & Cover Letters: ** I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
  ** I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms....
• A Blonde Finds Work... Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money.
  She decide to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman....
• RESUME BLOOPERS RESUME BLOOPERS: "Personal: I'm married with 9 children.
  I don't require prescription drugs." "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability....
• Things Noted On REAL Resumes REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB
  - Responsibility makes me nervous. - They insisted that all employees get to work by 8...
• Okay, this is something me and my best friend did to our Comp.
  Sci. teacher senior year of high school. We started this joke by getting into heated arguments for a week before the actual event and of course everything was building up a big head of steam....
• Diary of an AOL User July 18 - I just tried to connect to America Online.
  I've heard it is the best online service I can get....