Related:

• Patient to eye-doctor: "I'm very worried about the outcome of this operation, doctor.
  What are the chances? " Eye-doctor to patie...
• Painful Puns Hangover: The wrath of grapes. Income Tax
  Capital punishment. A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be....
• Punny 1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
  2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor....
• Two contestants on a TV game show were in the final round.
  Mr. Cohn was way ahead of Mr. Schine, but just as the buzzer was rung, Schine slipped ahead, and won!...
• The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography).
  .. I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut....
• The doctor wanted to write a prescription, so he reached in his pocket and pulled out a thermometer.
  Shit," he muttered, "Some asshole has my pen....
• Paybacks Are a Bitch There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind i
  when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute....
• These 2 tribes had been fighting on and on for years and the losing tribes's leader at the end of the war would have to submit himself to the winning side and be killed.
  Well, after one particularly bloody battle, the losing sides leader went to the winners and when he arrived they told him they were changing the rules around....