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• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• 2) On a small commuter flight one sunny day, the captain was told his passengers were nervous about being on a "small airplane.
  He decided to take action: "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain....
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
  looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
  The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....