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• Signs of life.... Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day Non-smoking area
  If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action On Maternity Room Doo...
• ALIEN ZOMBIE & THE CONGO LIZARDS You’re in luck. As my luck would have it, I made my bones in a musical family.
  Grandpop slapped ivories at the Congo, and Daddy-O moonlit his rocket ‘88 in the lizard lounges....
• Hospitals are advertising more. But we're still waiting for one to offer a cheap weekend get-away rate.
• get a life friend told me I really had to get a life.
  I thought about that and decided maybe she was right....
• From The Wit of Steven Wright: ** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
  The mime next door went nuts. ** If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?...
• So a mathematician, an engineer, and a physicist are out hunting together.
  They spy a *deer in the woods. The physicist calculates the velocity of the deer and the effect of gravity on the bullet, aims his rifle and fires....
• IDIOT GOES TO PRISON Three guys, a family man, an entrepreneur, and an idiot, are sentenced to spend 15 years in solitary confinement.
  The judge, feeling sorry for the men, decides to allow each to take with him whatever he wants....
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....
• Sir, I admit your general rule, That every poet is a fool.
  But you yourself may serve to show it, Every fool is not a poet....