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• Life is like a shit sandwich: The more bread you have, The less shit you have to eat.
• Some days you get bear; some days bear get you
• If life deals you a bad hand, asks for a reshuffle!!
• It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
• NEW INFANTS MIRACLE DIET FOR OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE Flabby Americans are always on the look out for a new diet.
  The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet) or you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet)....
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.
  ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• NEW INFANTS MIRACLE DIET FOR OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE Flabby Americans are always on the look out for a new diet.
  The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet) or you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet)....
• Enjoy life, you will never get out alive.
• KFC and the Pope After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
  The Pope says, "What can I do?" The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'....