Related:

• HIS AND HIRSUTISM Hair. Heads up, my fellow male Marchers.
  Get ready to temporarily ride the new permanent wave, as yet another panacea for male pattern baldness heads for the marketplace....
• UNIX: It's not just a hair color, it's a way of life.
• Crayola presents a new color! TARDIS BLUE!!!
• BE A KID AGAIN.... Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
  Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces Sing into your hairbrush Grow a milk mustache Smile back at the man in the moon Read the funnies Throw the rest of the paper away Dunk your cookies Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing Step carefully over sidewalk cracks Change into some play clothes Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich Have a staring contest with your cat Eat ice cream for breakfast Kiss a frog just in case Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck" Blow the wrapper off a straw Refuse to eat crusts Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no" Watch TV in your pajamas Ask "Why?...
• Son of a batch.
• Did you hear about the new strain of AID? its called hearing-AIDS You get it by listeni to Assholes.
• THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE AGE ---- DRINK 17 ---- beer 25 ---- beer 35 ---- vodka 48 ---- double vodka 66 ---- Maalox SEDUCTION LINE 17 ---- My parents are away for the weekend.
  25 ---- My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 ---- My fiancee is away for the weekend....
• Your hair color is fabulous. Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
• 100 reasons it's great to be a guy: 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks....