Related:

• Dear Son, I am writing this slow, 'cause I know you can't read fast.
  There are a few things happening here at home. We don't live where we did when you left -- you're father read in the paper that most car accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved....
• A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Daughter Dear Child
  I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast....
• Those Darned Sailors By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
  "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded....
• A Polish Mother writing a leter to her son Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive.
  I'm writing this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast....
• Hang up already.
• A Letter from your mama... Dear Son: I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.
  We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved....
• Reality is not a constant. Shut up and finish your dinosaur.
• Shut up 'n' play yer guitar.
• After many years of study, two orthodox rabbanical students graduated from the seminary, and were told to get black suits and go into the world.
  One said that his uncle Pincus, the tailor, would give them a great deal, so they went to see him....