Related:

• No honey, it's only a computer, PLEASE put down the gun..
• Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
  From werner Wed Oct 26 14:06:34 1988 Flags: 000000000001 From...
• P.S. Heard on David Letterman: You know, baseball was an exhibition sport in the Olympics this year.
  Much as it was in Baltimore....
• Soviet Weekly in English: There is a Moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic printers and sculptors.
  These were executed over the past two years....
• I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
• Note the spelling in this one!] After the tone, please leave a massage--my shoulders really could use it, and, what?
  You're only supposed to leave a MESSAGE? Darn.......
• No Response, Please!
• No Applause, Please
• Tester: "Please step into the bathroom over there, and fill this cup to the halfway mark".
  Testee (thinks): Hmmm. Only half a cup? What's the matter, don't they like my urine?...