Related:

• Who was that lady I seen you with last night?" "You mean 'I saw.
  '" "Ok, who was that eyesore I seen you with last night?...
• I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually
  I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it....
• Men I have not slept with. -Madonna
• TO MY DARLING HUSBAND, I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it.
  Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO....
• I C what you mean.
• This fellow was screwing his best friend's wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.
  "What the hell has happened to you?" the lady asked....
• A: What do you like for breakfast? B: I don't know, but does that mean if I go to McDonalds you'll make me something for free?
• We suppose now we should be ready for endless joke reruns that will go something like
  Who was that lady I saw you with?" "That was no lady, that was my vice president....