Castrate - The Hotel Rate For Actors.

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Castrate - the hotel rate for actors.

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    The U.S.S. Enterprise The Love Boat --------------------- ------------- Bald Captain Bald Captain Young Wesley is related to a Young Vicki is related to a crewmember and works on the ship crewmember and works on the ship Ship's doctor is a main character Ship's doctor is a main character Troi, ship's counselor is sexy, Julie the cruise director is sexy, but annoying but annoying Actors stand in front of screen, Actors stand in front of screen, upon which is projected upon which is projected background background of open space of open sea A dumping ground for second-rate A dumping ground for second-rate washed-up guest stars washed-up guest stars Going to strange new worlds Going to strange new ports-of-call Cheesy opening song Cheesy opening song Too many scenes of self-indulgent Too many scenes of self-indulgent crap in the holodeck crap in the lounge Socially retarded character with Socially retarded character with job description for name (Data) job description for name (Gopher) In late-night syndication In late-night syndication Bad 2-hour pilot Bad 2-hour pilot Enterprise has shuttlecrafts and Love Boat has lifeboats and detaching saucer section flotation devices Scenes linked by ship shots Scenes linked by ship shots One character inexplicably One character inexplicably replaced then returned (Crusher) replaced, then returned (Julie) After-the-fact bed scenes with After-the-fact bed scenes with pointless discussion pointless discussion Captain straightens uniform when Captain straightens uniform when disgusted/angry/nervous disgusted/angry/nervous Final scene takes place on trans- Final scene takes place on loading porte...
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  • Q:" How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
    "A:" Only one - they don't like to share the spotlight....
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    A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight....
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