Related:

• Excuse Me While I Recharge My Flamethrower!
• Excuse me while I bang my head against a wall
• Excuse me while I whip this out!
• Excuse me, I have to recharge my flamethrower.
• Excuse me, while I change into something more formidable.
• #???? -- I sent the check. Excuse me Canada, cheque.
• BAR TRANSLATIONS "No, really, I'm OK to drive." --I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
  "I'm not used to these darts." --I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed....
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• Here is a simple, but fun, practical joke you can try.
  You need a phone with a handset so that you can unscrew the mouth piece and remove the pickup....