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• Got Kleptomania? Take something for it!
• A guy goes to a doctor and says 'i think i got aids' doc says tests'll take a few days come back next week.
  ..guy comes back and the doc says 'sorry, you got aids' guy says 'oh god, i don't wanna die!...
• A man goes to the psychiatrist a nervous wreck. The shrink tells him to sit down and explain his problem.
  He says, "Well, doc, I keep having this dream where I am at this party full of people and I look across the room and there is a beautiful blonde woman and she walks over and our hands touch and instantly we are alone in a room, naked....
• In "Pissing in the Snow: Ozark Mountain Folktales", Vance Randolph tells of a wizened old country doctor who could treat anything.
  Well it seems one time, one of the mountain folk came into his office with three complaints....
• ores --- I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
  I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?...
• I can resist anything but temptation.
• I can be convinced of ANYthing. With logic.